A Safe Autism Haven after years of…bullying

I feel safe here in my little haven for working, talking, and eating with my husband.  It’s my safe little retreat from a world where I have felt and been unsafe.

Why do I need to feel safe?

I have been bullied starting in childhood through to present day. I have met unsafe people, both male and female–neither one is safer than the other.  I live in a barrage of confusion about how to tell who cares and who wants an opportunity to claw into me for something self-serving.

I even have a competitor who is using my business name and others’ business names or product names to go after the buck and “compete.”  When I called her she said, “That’s the way business is done.”  B.S., and I don’t mean Bachelor of Science.  One of my sewers, who is very people acute, is now doing hiring for me, and I have contracted another people acute person to sort through that non-Bachelor of Science stuff in business meetings so I don’t get sucked in.

Do I sound angry.  Damn straight I am.  I know I’m not alone because I lurk on the autism boards, and many people cloak their anger in super-understanding or sadness, while others are just pissed.  I am now the latter.  The anger doesn’t serve me well, so I’m dealing with it…until the next time I get duped.  But that’s in business.

In my personal life I have my children, my family, my friends, and my dear John to tell me when someone is not good or worse, not safe.  I am soooo thankful for them.

I suppose I have a lot to be happy for: my cat is meowing for pets, John is painting the fence, my kids think I’m cool (Yes, I know what Parkour is), and my family is just awesome.  Did I mention my friends?  I HAVE friends, wow!  And they call, email, or IM because they LIKE me.

We are all travelers
in the wilderness of this world,
and the best we can find in our travels
is an honest friend.
~Robert Louis Stevenson